pause and savor
by bravevulnerability
Summary: 'Her head was spinning, and not just because of the needle that had been plunged into the side of her neck.' Castle and Beckett wake up stranded in her car after being abducted, and while waiting for a ride back to the city, one thing leads to another. Set during 3x09.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Meant to write a Christmas fic. Wrote this instead. Oops? **_

_**Set during 3x09 (Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind).**_

_**And lets pretend for the sake of this story that the relationships with Josh and Gina ended differently than they actually did.**_

* * *

_"Please, let's just stick it in and get this over with."_

_-Katherine Beckett_

* * *

She awoke feeling stiff, legs longing to be stretched and neck aching from resting in one oddly angled position for too long. Her eyes fluttered open before she could move, staring out into the darkness of her Crown Victoria's window until flashes of memory came flooding back.

They'd been returning from the observatory. The car broke down. There was a bright light, a dark room, an interrogation, a sharp injection.

The warm surface she had been sleeping against began to stir, one arm extending out to fall across her lap, fingers curling around one of her knees.

Her heartbeat stuttered as she glanced down to realize her cheek was pressed to Castle's shoulder, her body tucked awkwardly into his side, and she wasn't at all sure how she got here. All she could manage to remember for certain was that Marie Subbarao's killer was still in the wind.

"Man, am I glad to see you."

Kate startled and lifted her head from Castle's chest to see him staring down at her, still groggy with sleep and a touch of concern.

"Castle, did that really happen?" she whispered, pushing herself into a sitting position beside him.

His gaze flickered over to her neck and he wordlessly brushed her hair over her shoulder.

"Pretty sure it did," he murmured, sweeping his thumb over a sensitive spot on the side of her throat. "You okay?"

She nodded, shrugging his fingers away and slipping hers up to graze along the twin mark he carried.

"Oh no," she breathed, skimming her fingertips over the smudge of purple on his skin once, twice, before withdrawing her hand and glimpsing in the rearview mirror to study her own marred flesh.

Castle leant forward suspiciously, glancing up as far as the car's windshield would allow and scanning the starless, night sky.

"I think we are free of danger for now," he announced, plopping back into the seat.

Kate sighed, running a hand through her hair, and thoughtlessly allowed her head to fall back to his shoulder. She felt his eyes drift to the top of her head, his curiosity filling the air around them while she gave herself just a second to rest. Her head was spinning, and not just because of the needle that had been plunged into the side of her neck.

"Beckett, are you sure you're alright?" Castle asked quietly, placing a tentative hand on her lower thigh, the heat of his palm penetrating through her slacks.

"Fine, I think I'm just still feeling the effects of whatever they knocked us out with," she lied easily, staring down at his hand.

"Well, no rush. We'll just relax here and if the men in black come back, don't worry, I'll protect you."

She snorted into the soft fabric of his royal blue dress shirt. "Okay, Castle."

They were quiet for a while. Her eyes stayed only half open, the somewhat peaceful silence and the smell of his aftershave lulling her into a state of calm. And then Castle started to talk.

"You know, it kinda looks like we have matching hickeys now."

She huffed and lifted away from him, reaching for the key still in the ignition. She wasn't surprised when she turned it and nothing happened. Despite the recent battery replacement, her Crown Vic had been having problems for the last couple of months and she figured the electromagnetic pulse their captors had likely used to kill the engine, their phones, and Castle's watch would indefinitely knock out her car for the night. At least her phone worked again.

They were still in New Jersey, and after talking with Esposito she learned it would take at least an hour for he and Ryan to come pick them up on the country road in Plainsboro they were stuck on.

"An hour?" Castle whined. "What are we supposed to do for an hour?"

Kate rolled her eyes and relaxed in her seat. "Maybe you could let me sleep."

"How can you sleep in the middle of this deserted road where we were kidnapped merely-" He made a show of checking his watch. "two hours ago?"

"Because I've hardly slept since we started this case and I'm tired?"

He softened a little at that, the natural concerning etching into his features, but tried to keep his voice light despite the hint of worry in his eyes.

"What if they come back? I hate to admit it, but you're more likely to be the one doing the protecting of the two of us."

"Is this supposed to surprise me?" she smirked, sitting up in her seat and shooting him a halfhearted glare.

He feigned hurt as he retrieved his phone from his pocket and alerted his mother and Alexis that he would likely be home later than expected while she tried not to internally panic over the fact that she and Castle were stuck together in her car for an entire hour with nothing to do but talk. They weren't so good at talking outside the precinct anymore, not since the summer.

"So, how's Josh?" he asked, trying to sound conversational, but she knew he tended to ask that question out of obligational small talk. She had a feeling her boyfriend was the last thing he actually wanted to discuss.

"We broke up. A few weeks ago."

"Oh," he murmured, a rush of relief seeming to escape with the syllable as it fell from his lips. "I'm sorry."

She didn't believe him.

"It's fine. How's Gina?" she returned, but he simply shrugged one of his shoulders.

"We broke up too, right after we got back from the Hamptons. Getting back together in the first place was a waste of time."

A mirroring relief washed over her at the news and she hated herself a little for it.

Kate risked a glance at him through the corner of her eye when he remained quiet and saw he looked crestfallen yet contemplative, and she didn't think it was because of Gina.

"I'm sorry about the summer, Kate."

She could feel herself physically coiling in defense at the topic change, her entire body reflexively closing off from him as if preparing for a battle she knew she would lose.

They didn't talk about the summer; they didn't talk about anything that was too close to the reluctant line drawn between them. Discussing the things like that - like how he had sauntered out of her life for nearly five months with his ex-wife hanging on his arm while she had stood speechless with her exposed heart bleeding in her unprotected chest - would be venturing into dangerous territory that she wasn't ready to explore. She didn't think she would ever be ready, not for him.

His gaze rested on her profile, watching her, waiting for a response she didn't know how to give.

"Don't worry about it," she answered quietly, hoping he'd just leave it at that.

She had vowed to herself that very evening he'd left for the Hamptons that she was done when it came to putting herself out there for Richard Castle. No more heartache, no more regret, no more pathetic mascara stains on her pillowcase over someone who she was stupid to think ever felt the same about her.

"I wish I'd spent the summer with you."

She sighed. "Castle-"

"I know, just…hear me out?"

She curled her fingernails into the cheap leather upholstery of her seat and bit her lip as she nodded for him to go ahead.

Just get it over with.

"You were trying to tell me something that day, and I let you get cut off. I think you had more to say."

Oh… oh no. He was seriously bringing this up? _Now?_ They had been doing so well before this. They weren't the same, their partnership was a bit more…strained, but they were okay. Unconditionally careful, but more at ease with every passing day.

"What's the point of discussing this?" she questioned tiredly, finally turning her face to look at him and wishing she hadn't.

There was longing embedded deep in the cerulean of his eyes, and she recognized it immediately. He was usually better at hiding it.

"Because I'm tired of having this like a sore spot between us, Beckett. Obviously, I'm more than grateful that you allowed me to come back to work with you at all, but you know we're different now, and that's okay, but this is the first time I've had a decent moment alone with you since I came back."

"And that's my fault?" she spat, suddenly feeling it all flare up again. "You're the one who left, you're the one who said he would call and never did, you-"

"See, you're still angry with me," he countered hotly and there was a smug undertone to his observation that made her blood boil.

Stupid, arrogant man.

"You don't know me, Castle." she snapped harshly. "You think you have me figured out because of your books and Nikki Heat, but you don't know me at all."

That seemed to cause a piece of his well-controlled temper to slip and his eyes widened incredulously before he had to purse his lips and rub his hand over his mouth.

"Bullshit," he muttered, shaking his head as if he was disappointed in her. "You just can't admit I hurt you because that would mean admitting you care enough to be hurt."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand.

"Just forget it. I'm sorry I said anything."

Castle sighed and began to angle his body away from her, seeming to decide that there was nothing more to discuss, and something painful tripped up her racing heart.

He wasn't right about her, was he? She did care, about him.

Kate scraped a frustrated hand through her hair. She cared about him and it terrified her, it always had, but she was so tired of wanting something she'd spent so long insisting to herself she couldn't have. Enough.

She reached for the collar of his shirt and used the pull of fabric to tug him into her, nearly toppling his entire body sideways as she framed his face with her fingers and claimed his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

Completely caught off guard, Castle was only able to grasp her waist, attempting to keep his weight from falling forward and crushing her, but as she sucked his lower lip into her mouth and felt the moan rise up in his throat, she didn't think she would mind.

He used his abdominal muscles to haul them both upright, the two of them awkwardly twisted in the middle of the Crown Vic's front seat, and she wanted more. More pressure, more skin, more heat.

Using her grip on his shoulders, Kate was easily able to slide one leg over his lap, quickly settling into a straddle and groaning when she felt the heat of him already pressing prominently against her center.

Castle's hands were uncertain, resting cautiously at her hips even as he devastated her with his mouth, so she grabbed his wrists, pressed his palms against her breasts.

"Kate-" he breathed, another low moan caught in his throat, but she bit down on his lip.

"Shut up," she growled, involuntarily arching forward when his fingers squeezed.

His hands left her breasts and she grunted in frustration, needing that pressure back. She gasped when it returned, under her shirt, under her bra. His bare hands were cold at first, her trembling frame shivering at the contact, but it took mere seconds for them to feel like fire, searing her skin and making her hips roll desperately.

Her head fell back as his thumbs swiped maddeningly over her nipples, and Castle immediately took advantage of her exposed neck, sucking, scraping, biting. She hissed in a mixture of pleasure and pain when his mouth covered the still sensitive injection site near her pulse point, but he was gentle, softly smoothing his tongue over the bruise until she practically forgot it was there.

Meanwhile his hands were sliding down and working at her slacks, unbuttoning and pushing the material as far as it would go while she clawed at the sleek buttons of his dress shirt and tossed his belt to the floor. Eventually, she was forced to rise from his lap to shove her pants down her legs and tug his slacks and boxers to his knees.

She couldn't bite back the breathy moan he elicited when he pulled her back into his lap and she felt the pulsing heat of his erection pressing against the thin lace of her underwear, so hard and and hot and ready for her.

"Back seat?" she gasped even as her hips continued to buck against his at their own volition.

"No, I want you now," he grunted into her jaw, nipping his way to her ear and then down her neck once more, to the newly exposed area of her chest. Thank god she'd decided on a simple button down blouse instead of the grey turtleneck she had been eyeing in her closet that morning.

Her arms encircled his neck and one of her hands rooted into the softness of his hair when he maneuvered his mouth past the cup of her bra, holding him there as the building tension inside her grew stronger with every brush of his tongue and graze of his teeth.

"Castle," she rasped, pressing her cheek against his and he lifted his head, captured her lips again and slid his tongue inside her mouth while he pushed aside the soaked lace of her underwear.

She rose over him, taking the time to hover over his length, teasing him and herself with the slow undulation of her hips until he was coated in her arousal and growling her name. They both groaned in relief when she finally sunk down and took him as deep as he could go.

Kate took a moment to savor the size and feel of him, the scorching heat of him throbbing and firm inside her, and then she experimentally rocked her hips forward, gasping at the sparks of pleasure already shooting up her taut spine.

This wouldn't last long, but it was going to be so good.

Castle's hands were under the open flaps of her blouse, skimming up the fevered skin of her back, pressing her body closer to his with each thrust, their slick torsos slamming together each time she rose and fell.

Her orgasm was building at the base of her spine within seconds, the familiar coil of sizzling heat winding tight in her abdomen, and she could feel that he wasn't far behind, his shallow breaths coming in short, sharp pants against her clavicle as her inner walls trembled and clamped hard around him. When his hand slipped between them, found her clit and circled hard, she was done.

Kate buried her face in his neck to stifle the raw sob of relief caught in her throat and clung to him tightly as he spilled inside her.

They were both sticky with sweat and arousal, and lying flush against his naked chest as she slowly began to drift down from the heights of pleasure shouldn't have been as comfortable as it was in that moment, but she had a difficult time convincing herself to move.

She almost fell asleep when Castle's hands started tracing inscrutable patterns on the skin of her back. But there was still some unfathomable tension clinging to him, keeping his movements a little stiffer than they should have been after what they just did.

Kate lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up to see him watching her uncertainly, a mixture of fear and hopefulness dancing in his electric eyes. She tilted her head forward and sealed her mouth over his, kissing him thoroughly until she felt him twitch inside her.

"I think round two should be at my place," she murmured into his jaw, scraping her teeth over the light hints of stubble and feeling the groan reverberate through his skin.

"We still have to talk, Kate," he replied, the dark husk of his voice implying otherwise. "Then you can use me for my body all you want."

She laughed quietly and slowly maneuvered herself off of him.

"Add some takeout and a bottle of wine for dinner and you've got a deal," she grinned, feeling a strange and almost foreign flutter of excitement happening in her stomach.

He smiled back at her, a true smile that made his eyes shine and crinkle in the corners. "Deal."

Castle leaned over to kiss her again, taking his time, reverently tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue until she opened for him on a sigh.

"The boys should be here soon," she mumbled distractedly, scratching lightly at the stubble she wanted to put her mouth to and he pulled away, turning his attention to gathering the jumbled mess of clothing that had landed across the floorboard.

Headlights illuminated the darkness just as she was buttoning her pants.

Ryan and Esposito exited their car as Castle and Beckett did, but they spent little time conversing on the eerie stretch of desolate road, and after getting in touch with the tech team at the precinct, along with a towing service, they were all piling into the boy's working cruiser.

They would head back to the precinct, recount to Captain Montgomery everything that had happened that night with the mysterious government agents, and then she and Castle were going back to her apartment for a long evening in.

Her insides continued to flip in anticipation at that last part.

"Those hickeys?" Ryan questioned with a smirk when Kate passed him, but her lips only curled upwards as she slipped into the back of the squad car with Castle.

She discretely kept her hand splayed across his inner thigh the entire ride back to the Twelfth.

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**_Thank you for taking the time to read. Feedback is always welcome and immensely appreciated._**

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	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Apparently I lied before when I marked this as 'Complete'. This story wasn't over yet.**_

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They stumbled down the hallway of her floor nearly two and a half hours later and the second she got the front door open, she was pulling him inside and using his body to slam the door shut.

She had tortured him the entire ride to the precinct, trailing her hot, slim fingers along his thigh, up to the seam of his pants, treacherously making him grow hard when they were only minutes away from the station. He had glared at her in the darkness and finally she had stopped, given him the opportunity to calm himself, but his pants were still tight and uncomfortable when they got out of the car and headed inside the Twelfth.

Their talk with Montgomery was thankfully brief, just an informative discussion and a promise from the captain that he would find whoever did this. Although, Castle wasn't too upset with whomever had decided to abduct them and then leave them stranded in her car that night. Obviously, the result had been pretty incredible.

They had received some more teasing from the boys of course, but the taunting talk of hickeys only made his impatience thrive, because he was determined to paint her skin with his mouth in other places, private places, leave a type of evidence on her that no one else would be able to see but him.

She had become downright cruel in the cab ride to her apartment, and he had almost been shocked by the boldness of her wandering hands and the unashamed press of her open mouth at his neck, any and all concern for the driver in the front seat nonexistent as they practically made out like teenagers in the backseat for the twenty minutes it took to get to her place.

And now she wasn't holding back at all, feeling him up in the elevator and using her dexterous fingers to unbutton his shirt for the second time that night as they tripped down her fortunately empty hallway.

"Talk," she gasped as she slid his shirt from his shoulders and trailed her mouth down the line of his throat, nipping along his collarbone. "You said we had to talk."

She wrapped a leg around his waist and he pressed his upper thigh hard against her core, eliciting a loud keening noise he'd never imagined he would hear from her.

"This first," he growled, lifting her other leg and nearly losing his balance even with the hard surface of the door at his back when she began to aggressively roll her hips into his. "Fuck, Beckett,"

"Yes," she groaned.

Yeah, not much talking was going to happen right now.

He pushed off from the door and tried not to drop her as he managed to find his way into her bedroom and deposit her writhing body at the edge of the unmade bed. She immediately started unbuttoning her shirt and he easily got her slacks down and off her legs, tossing them and then her underwear somewhere across the room.

He kneeled at the floor and nudged her thighs apart, positioning one leg over his shoulder, and then leant forward, trailed his lips along her inner thighs until he reached her center.

She arched violently from the bed when his mouth touched her and he had to keep a bruising grip on her hips to stop her from involuntarily jerking away from him. He slid his tongue along her folds, teasing and tasting her, growing bolder with the strokes of his tongue the louder and more desperate her moans became.

When he placed his mouth to her already swollen clit, her fingers tangled almost painfully in his hair, nails digging into his scalp, and when he eased two fingers inside her, her heel collided with his shoulder blade. It only took a few deep, curling plunges of his fingers to have her shattering, biting so hard on her bottom lip that the soft flesh blanched white.

He helped her come down moments later, cleaning away the evidence of her arousal with his tongue while she rode the final waves of coursing pleasure and caught her breath, and then she was tugging gently on his hair, urging him upwards.

He rose from his now aching knees and followed her body as she inched higher on the bed, dropping her head to the pillow and sighing contently when he kissed his way up her abdomen, her sternum, up to her lips.

She had rid herself of her bra probably around the same time he noticed her shirt flying over his head while he was disposing of her pants, and seeing her body completely bared under the dim lamplight of her bedroom had him staring and unable to look away. She was stunning, more stunning than he had ever envisioned even with his vivd writer's imagination.

Her hands roamed his naked back in an admiration of their own, mapping the landscape of muscles, the valleys of skin, and ridges of bone; everywhere she touched igniting a fire in her wake, burning him even as he touched her back. Sweeping his fingers down the ripples of her ribcage and along the supple hills of her breasts while he caressed her lips with his own.

When her hands completed their journey, one slid between them, slipped him free through the slit in the boxers he still wore and stroked the length of him, squeezing lightly and creating the best kind of friction.

He used the hand that wasn't palming her breast to get his boxers down his legs and finally kick them off.

Her body was ready for him when he nudged his tip along her slick entrance and Kate tilted her hips upward as he glided inside her in one smooth thrust.

A whimper clawed its way out of her throat as he pulled almost all the way out and drove into her again, and she lifted her head to kiss his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. Her legs locked securely around his waist, spurring him deeper with every thrust.

"Oh god," she murmured breathlessly into his skin. "Faster, Castle, please."

He quickened his speed and lowered his mouth to her breast once more, taking her nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue. She mewled and wrapped one arm tightly around his neck while the other lowered to cup his firm ass and pull him tighter against her.

Their rhythm quickly grew sloppy as they came closer to the edge, frantic, and he had to concentrate hard to keep from finishing before her. All it takes is one final twist of his hips, one final, purposeful brush of his body against hers, and she was coming undone around him. He gasped her name into her neck as his own orgasm rippled up his spine and he fell with her.

Kate held his body to hers as they came back down, sifting her fingers through his hair and turning her lips into his forehead while he listened to the steadying pound of her heart against her ribs.

"We need food," she whispered suddenly and he huffed a laugh against her cheek, carefully lifted himself from the warm, sated line of her body and slipped free from her.

"I'll call for Chinese. You have that wine?"

She nodded while he rose from the bed, pulled his boxers on and retrieved his phone from his discarded pants.

"You know what I like?" she asked as he dialed the number, and he narrowed his gaze on her teasingly.

"I think it's quite obvious I know what you like, Kate Beckett."

She rolled her eyes at the cheesy remark and he watched her saunter into the bathroom, picking up his shirt along the way, her naked form distracting enough that he almost forgot to speak when his call was answered.

* * *

He was in her living room, admiring the place when she came out in only his dress shirt, smiling shyly as his eyes roved up and down her figure like he didn't know exactly what was underneath the clothing.

"Dinner should be here soon," he informed her and she nodded a little awkwardly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Castle, did you still want to talk?"

Oh, yeah. That was sort of high on his to do list for the night. After her of course.

He nodded and she headed for the kitchen, reaching for two wine glasses in one of the higher cabinets while she told him to get comfortable. He sat down on the sectional couch she had settled in the middle of the three large windows that lined one of the walls of her apartment, his eyes still wandering over the new home he had yet to see. It was a beautiful place really, styled perfectly to her taste everywhere he looked.

He was busy studying the large print that covered the entirety of the wall beside him, attempting to unravel the story of the woman running from what looked like a world of chaos, when she returned with two glasses of red and settled on the opposite end of the couch from him, curling her knees to her chest and apparently waiting for him to begin.

"I just - I want us to be clear," he started hesitantly, cradling his wineglass between his palms and staring into the red liquid as if it could give him the courage he needed to have this conversation. "I don't want this to be just a physical thing-"

"It's not," she cut in immediately, placing her own untouched glass on the coffee table. "I realize that maybe talking first might have been smarter, but I do..." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, as if she was searching for the right words and frustrated with herself when they didn't come easy. "I do _want_ this. Us."

"Did you want it before I left, before the summer?"

She bit her lip and diverted her gaze, but nodded in affirmation.

"That day, I'd hoped to go with you. To the Hamptons. I had broken up with Tom and I thought we could maybe test the waters there, see how we worked outside the precinct."

He scrubbed his hands down his face. She had basically broken up with her boyfriend for him. She was going to go to _the Hamptons_ with him. The anguish rushed over him in waves.

"Damn," was all he could manage.

"Yeah," she sighed, resting her chin on her raised knees.

"I hate that we missed out on that. That we could've been together so much sooner." he said mournfully, but she unfurled from her position in the corner and moved to his side, captured his hand in hers.

"Maybe it was for the best," she reasoned, staring down at the hand ensnared between the two of hers. "I don't believe we've ever had great timing, but maybe any sooner than this and we would have fallen apart."

"You think so?" He didn't necessarily like that train of thought, the idea of finally being able to have her only to lose her too soon.

She shrugged. "We'll never know. We're in this now though, and I'm - I think we have a good chance."

His heart leapt at that; the fact that she had faith in them. He'd always believed approaching the idea of a relationship with her would be much harder, that she would fight him on it until he was somehow able to convince her that they were worth a shot, but she seemed ready. Ready to dive in with him.

Castle raised the hand not tangled with hers to cup her jaw, felt a strong mixture of excitement and affection surge through him when she turned her face into his touch. He'd just leaned in to kiss her when the loud ring of the buzzer to her apartment startled them both.

"I think you should get your pants," she chuckled as he huffed and went to retrieve his slacks from her bedroom, quickly pulling them on over his boxers before jogging to the door.

They ate contently on her couch, bent over her coffee table while they talked around forkfuls of their favorite brand of Chinese takeout. The case was discussed briefly, not much to be said about it until morning when she would have her notes and murder board in front of her, and after two glasses of wine, Kate was tugging him back to the bedroom and guiding him under the crisp, cool sheets with her.

He was pleased to see the next morning that she awoke beside him with a fresh hickey on the swell of her breast and another at the jut of her hipbone, putting the bruise on her neck to shame.

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**Now this _is_ the final chapter. I hope it lived up to the expectations of those who wanted more.  
**

**Thank you all again for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting. Your kind support is what gives me the confidence to post anything at all. **


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